You Can Count on Me
by lkaplon
Summary: Open mic night leads to unexpected allies. Mostly fluffy Spuffy set sometime during season six. Rating changed, but still on the safe side. After I read some M rated stuff, I KNOW my story isn't going to get that fresh! Sorry, I'm a chicken. :
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is set sometime during season six, but I guess it's a little more AU than cannon

Disclaimer: All mine! Mine I say! Anybody believe me? Crickets chirping Right then, everything Buffy-related belongs to Joss and Co.

A/N: This is set sometime during season six, but I guess it's a little more AU than cannon. This story has been rattling around in my head for a couple of weeks now and for the sake of my sanity I decided not to re-watch all of season six to decide exactly what episode I wanted it set after. So for the purposes of this story, Buffy and Spike are at the beginning of their little dysfunctional relationship, Willow and Tara are still together, everyone knows that Buffy was in heaven, and Tara knows about Spike and Buffy.

Special thanks to my beta, Courtney! You rock!

Part 1

Tara and Willow sat at a back table in the Bronze, talking softly. When Buffy had suggested they take a night off, they had jumped at the chance. In fact, Willow felt more than a little guilty at how quickly they had jumped at the chance. The tension level in the house had skyrocketed since Buffy's revelation and Willow had no idea where to start fixing it. However, both girls were determined to enjoy their alone time. They had each dressed in the other's favorite outfit. Tara wore a pale blue, long-sleeved blouse with a slightly darker blue A-frame skirt. The v-neck of the blouse was a bit lower than Tara usually felt comfortable wearing, but she justified it that it was for Willow. Willow wore Tara's favorite tan peasant top and a long, flowing black skirt.

Their conversation was cut short by a loud screech that came across the house speakers. They turned their attention to the stage as the bartender made his way up.

"Welcome to open mic night at the Bronze!" This brought a general cheer from the crowd.

"Tonight we have our usual treat for the LADIES!" An even louder cheer went up from the female population of the bar. He was forced to wait a couple minutes for it to die down so he could finish.

"Welcome Spike!"

Again the cheers went up.

Tara looked over at Willow. "Did he just say Spike?"

Willow nodded. "Yeah, I think he did."

Together they moved closer to the dance floor so they had a better view. Indeed, it was the blonde vampire that was silently fixing the height of the microphone stand as the bartender made his way off stage. There was a stool on the stage behind him and a guitar in a stand next to it. The two moved closer, careful not to draw his attention. They shared a look then turned back to the stage, waiting to see what the vampire was up to.

"Yeah, well, this song was written for the same bird I always sing for." He paused a moment giving the crowd his famous smirk, "even if she would st… kill me if she knew."

The crowd murmured quietly, while he took a seat on the stool behind him, picked up his guitar and carefully tuned it.

Willow picked up a conversation that was going on behind her.

"Oh, he is so sexy. I can't believe his girl doesn't appreciate him." A female voice spoke.

"I know. You can so totally tell he's completely in love with her." Her female companion responded. "If he was mine, I don't know if I would even let him out of the house."

They share a laugh.

Willow looked over at Tara who was doing her best to seem very interested in the ice melting in her drink.

"Tara, do you know…" Willow's question was cut off by the soft music coming from the stage, much to Tara's relief.

_I'm finding my way back to sanity again_

_Though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there_

_Take a breath and hold on tight, spin around one more time_

_And gracefully fall back into the arms of Grace_

'_Cause I am hanging on every word you say and _

_Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright, alright with me_

'_Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door_

_And listen to you breathing, is where I want to be, yeah_

_Where I want to be_

_I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm _

_Trying to identify the voices in my head, God which one's you?_

_Let me feel one more time what it feels like to feel alive_

_And break these calluses off of me, one more time_

'_Cause I am hanging on every word you say and_

_Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright, alright with me_

'_Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside your door_

_And listen to you breathing, is where I want to be, yeah_

_I don't want a thing from you_

_Bet your tired of me waiting for the scraps _

_To fall off your table to the ground_

'_Cause I just want to be here now_

'_Cause I'm hanging on every word you say and_

_Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright, alright with me_

'_Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door_

_And listen to you breathing, is where I want to be, yeah_

'_Cause I am hanging on every word you say and_

_Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright, alright with me_

'_Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door_

_And listen to you breathing, is where I want to be, yeah_

_Where I want to be_

_Where I want to be_

Willow couldn't do anything but stare at Spike as the last cords of the song faded away.

"Well, thanks." Spike's sultry voice said over the microphone, sending most of the women's hearts fluttering if the deafening roar of applause was any indicator. He gave a little smirk before he bowed and walked off stage.

Tuning the next performer out, Willow turned to Tara as they made their way back to their table and sat back down.

"Do you know something?"

"Um… I can't r-r-really say." Tara stuttered. It wasn't her secret to share. She made an effort to seem completely absorbed in the chore of setting her drink down on the napkin in front of her.

"Come on. Now I know you know something. What did I miss?" Willow asked, giving Tara her resolve face.

"Well, you know how much Spike l-l-loves Buffy, right?" Tara didn't look at her girlfriend as she asked this, instead concentrating on drawing patterns in the condensation on her drink.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with…" Willow trailed off as she realized what this meant.

"But that doesn't mean that Buffy…"

Tara looked up to meet Willows astonished gaze. "T-t-they've been s-s-seeing each other."

Willow's look of astonishment changed to a look of shock with a dash of disgust added in. "But it's SPIKE! And why didn't she tell me? I'm her best friend!"

"If you could see your face, sweetie, you would know why Buffy didn't tell you. She didn't even mean to tell me, it just kind of slipped out. You know she's been having a hard time dealing since she's been … back. And Spike has been… helping her."

"Yeah, but she could have talked to us. She didn't have to turn to Spike." Willow replied, indignantly.

Slowly Tara shook her head. "No she couldn't. We didn't want to hear it. Even now that we k-k-know where she w-w-was, everyone has been expecting her to just… get over it and be happy. B-b-be happy in a way that is 'acceptable.'"

Willow wanted to dispute that comment, but she found that she couldn't. Even before they knew that Buffy had been in heaven, they had expected her to be grateful and happy about being alive.

"I don't understand." She whispered. "How could I miss this?"

Tara put a comforting hand on Willow's arm. "They've been v-v-very careful."

"But she's just using him right?" Willow asked almost hopefully.

"I don't think so, sweetie. Watch them, the next time they're together. She cares about him. I just think she feels that she can't let herself because of what you, Xander and Giles would think."

"But Spike is, like, evil, right?"

"Willow." Tara admonished. "When is the last time he did something evil? And would an evil vampire really take care of Dawn and watch out for the rest of us while Buffy was… gone?"

Seeing the determination on her lover's face, Willow did think about it. And she couldn't come up with a time when Spike had done something evil, at least not in the last couple of years. Taking care of Dawn and watching out for the other Scoobies couldn't be put down to anything other than his feelings and his promise to Buffy because she hadn't been there to see it and they certainly hadn't paid him.

"So what do we do?" Willow asked softly.

A mischievous grin broke out on Tara's face. "We help."

Tara stood, pulled Willow up with her and made her way over to the bar. It took a few minutes, but she finally got the attention of the bartender.

"Hey, that guy, Spike, does he sing every open mic night?" Tara asked, amazing even herself that she was able to do it without stuttering.

The heavyset bartender looked over the two girls standing before him. "Yep. But you're wasting your time, ladies."

"What do you mean?" Willow asked, a bit more harshly than she intended.

The bartender scowled at her, but answered her question anyway. "Because every female that has ever tried to talk to him after a performance has left disappointed. Whoever those songs are dedicated to, he's loyal."

A group of boisterous college kids stumbled up to the bar at that time, demanding the bartender's attention. He held up a hand, telling them to wait a minute.

"Anything else?"

Seeing that neither Tara nor Willow had any other questions and weren't interested in ordering a drink, he left them to their own thoughts.

The next morning Tara and Willow stood outside Spike's crypt. The harsh light of day left Willow reconsidering their plan.

"Are we sure this is the right thing to do?" She asked, looking over at Tara.

Tara sighed. She had hoped Buffy and Spike's display last night had shown Willow the truth of the matter. They had come in from patrolling arguing like always. But that hadn't stopped Buffy from cleaning and bandaging a wound on Spike's head. Tara had made sure that Willow had seen the tenderness with which Buffy had touched the blonde vampire.

"You saw what I was talking about. What's the problem now?" Tara asked, frustrated. True, she hadn't known Spike when he had actually been evil, but she couldn't understand everyone's current reluctance to see him as anything else.

It was Willow's turn to sigh. "I don't know. It's just that, it's Spike. Should we knock?"

"Well, that would be polite."

Just then the door to the crypt swung open and a voice came from the darkness. "Ladies, are you going to come in or stand there all day?"

A/N 2: In case you were wondering the song is Breathing by Lifehouse. This is my first FFN posted fic so reviews? Pretty please? With sugar and whip cream and a cherry?


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Disclaimer: Not mine. Move along.

AN: Thanks a bunch to Laura Janneck, my very first reviewer! And always a special thanks to my beta, Courtney. Now, on with the show!

Part 2

Spike stared at Willow and Tara with an indescribable look on his face. He couldn't believe what the two witches were suggesting. They had to be out of their minds. He shook his head and pulled out a cigarette, needing the nicotine to sooth his nerves. He took a deep drag and expelled the smoke toward the ceiling.

"Are you birds out of your bloody mind?!" He exploded. They had to be. Otherwise, there was no way they would be here, proposing what they were.

Tara shared a look with Willow. "Well… that w-w-wasn't exactly how w-w-we thought you'd r-r-react."

Willow turned to look at Spike, her own indescribable look on her face. "What's the problem?" She had thought for sure that Spike would jump at the idea.

The blonde vampire began pacing in front of a sarcophagus. "Let's start with the fact that the Slayer would stake me good and proper the minute she found out!"

Without thinking about it, Tara reached out and put a hand on Spike's arm, effectively stopping his pacing. Spike looked from her hand on his arm, to her face, to Red's face and then back again. He was a bit awed by the casual contact. None of the other Scoobies had ever willingly touched him.

"No, she wouldn't. That's k-k-kind of our point." Tara said, unaware that she had done anything extraordinary.

Spike gave an unnecessary sigh. He pulled his arm away from Tara, attempting to hide the gesture by running his hand over his face.

"Alright, Glenda," Spike hopped up to sit on the sarcophagus. "Say I believe you. Just how are you going to pull this off?"

Tara smiled brightly. "Leave that to us. You just show up and do what you normally do."

"And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" He asked incredulously. The next open mic night was a week away. How was he supposed to keep a secret for that long?

"Just do what you normally do. Patrol. Watch Passions. You know, whatever it is you normally do." Willow's reply was half-hearted, her mind already on the task of how to get Buffy to the Bronze without telling her why.

Spike shook his head and took another drag from his cigarette. "Yeah, right. Act normal." He rolled his eyes. He wasn't even sure what normal was any more.

Tara gave Spike another smile as she and Willow turned to leave. Just before she stepped out of the crypt, Willow turned back.

"Oh, Spike? Do you have another song? One that's…," she paused, attempting to find the right word, "… less stalker-ish?"

His head shot up to stare at Willow. "You thought that was stalker-ish?"

"Um… Kind of. I mean it's nice, but sitting outside just to hear her breathing. Kind of stalker-ish." Willow broke eye contact to stare at the floor. She hadn't meant to offend him. She just thought that Buffy might like something a little more upbeat.

Biting back a reply, Spike took in the witch's posture. If he didn't know better, he would have thought she cared about what he thought.

"Yeah, Red. I think I got just the one." Spike answered and he did have one in mind, something he'd been working on recently.

Her head shot up and she gave him a bright smile. "This is going to work, Spike."

As the door slammed shut behind her, his vampiric hearing picked up her added comment. "It has to!"

* * *

Later that night

Buffy walked slowly through the cemetery, her feet unknowingly carrying her toward Spike's crypt. Perhaps it was because the blonde vampire was never far from her thoughts. She'd been turning to him a lot lately. Not only for help with patrolling but also just as an… escape, she could admit it to herself. As an escape from her 'well-meaning' friends. Their guilt and their need for her to be 'alright' was exhausting. With Spike, she could just be however she felt. It was starting to scare her how often she sought out the vampire's company. And then whole kissing fiasco still hadn't been properly dealt with. So far, they had ignored it except for the fact that now patrol ended with kissing instead of anything else.

Oh, and wouldn't her friends be so disappointed if they knew. Well, she thought, she should be honest with herself, if no one else, not all of them would be disappointed. Tara knew and she was okay with it. Dawn would be on cloud nine. She wasn't sure how Willow would react and Anya probably wouldn't care. No, it was mainly Xander and Giles who would be angry and disappointed. It really frustrated her that he could completely ignore Anya's background while continuously harping on Spike's.

"Well, luv, this is getting to be a habit, isn't it?"

Buffy was startled out of her thoughts to find that she was standing in front of Spike's door. And apparently he had been headed out.

"Sorry. I'll go." She said, turning to go. She wasn't sure why all of a sudden she felt flustered, but she did. A cool hand on her arm stopped her flight.

"Come on in. Wasn't going anywhere. I was just wondering if you were going to stand there all night or not." Spike's voice was uncommonly gentle. Perhaps it was his conversation with the witches earlier, but he now saw a hint of vulnerability in his Slayer. Now, wait 'his' Slayer? Where did that thought come from?

Buffy turned to look up into impossibly blue eyes. "Sure I'm not imposing?"

Spike chuckled as he led her into the crypt. "Now why would you be worried about imposing, pet?"

Buffy shrugged as she looked around. She could see recent changes and she had to wonder the cause. Now instead of just an arm chair and a TV, he had the arm chair, a couch and a second chair around a wooden coffee table. The TV sat across from the couch. There were more candles around, ready to be lit and he actually had a lamp in one corner.

"Slayer? You feeling alright, luv?"

Buffy started to realize that Spike now stood directly in front of her. She wasn't real sure what was wrong with her tonight. She seemed entirely introspective. Wow, introspective, I guess some of Professor Walsh's psychology took after all, she thought, a soft smile playing on her lips.

"What am I doing here?" Her question was soft. The smile stayed on her face as she searched his eyes for something. She wasn't even sure what she was looking for.

"I don't rightly know, luv. What are you doing here?" Spike was beyond confused by the Slayer's actions. Her smile was one he'd never seen, at least not directed at him.

"Can we just, I don't know, hang out or something?" Buffy looked up at Spike. "I just don't want to go home yet, okay?"

Spike put an arm around her shoulders, hesitantly, ready for any sign of rejection. To his surprise, she just leaned into him and let him lead her to the couch. As they sat down, she curled up into his side. He reached for the remote, turning the TV on to some late night movie.

Now he was down right confused. There had to be a word bigger than confused because something really strange was going on. The Slayer had sought him out and now was curling up next to him. He was quite certain that the world must be ending. A few minutes later, he looked down to find Buffy fast asleep. Yep, the world was ending.

AN 2: Well that's part 2. Just a word of warning, summer semester just started and Financial Accounting and Cisco IT are kicking my butt so updates may be a little slow. However, reviews are a real great inspiration and just might get me to post faster! (hehhehehe)


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Disclaimer: Please, if they were mine, the mess that was Buffy and Spike's relationship in Season Six would have gone entirely differently.

AN: First, sorry it took so long to update. Darn school and I've been sick! Thanks to FlapwazzleAnonymous and larnie for the wonderful reviews. They keep me writing! Second, I just figured out how to allow anonymous reviews, so those who don't actually belong to the site can review now too! Aren't I just the best? cheesy grin

As always a special thanks to my beta, Courtney, You're the best!

Part 3

Consciousness came slowly to Buffy the next morning. As she opened her eyes, she became aware of the feeling of absolute peace that filled her. She smiled softly to herself as she closed her eyes again, floating on the uncommon feeling. She hadn't woken with this feeling in a long time. Recently all her dreams were filled with dark and menacing images that, when she woke, left her with feelings of loneliness and despair. No, she hadn't felt like this since before she had died at least, perhaps even before her mother had died. With that one thought everything else came flooding back, her eyes snapped open again and the smile fell from her face. Her gaze took in the darkened crypt and a look of puzzlement graced her features. She had spent the night in Spike's crypt. She looked over at her vampire and her soft smile returned. In sleep, Spike's features were softened slightly, giving him an almost boyish, angelic look. However, even with the peaceful look on his face, his position looked anything but comfortable. His left arm was still draped across her shoulders and his head was tilted back resting against the back of the couch at a very odd angle. Slowly, as if of its own accord, her hand raised and she gently brushed the backs of her fingers across his cheek. Was Spike the reason she had had no nightmares the night before? Was it his mere presence that had chased the darkness of her mind away?

However, just as quickly as the smile came, it was replaced by a frown. _Her vampire_? _Angelic looking_? Where had those thoughts come from? Being careful not to wake him, Buffy slipped from the couch and turned to leave the crypt. She had to get home. Her internal clock told her it was well past dawn and Buffy knew her sister would be worried if she wasn't there to see her off to school. At the door she paused, turning back to look at him once more. She couldn't just leave like this. Well, she could, but she felt like she shouldn't. Making a hasty decision, she looked around for a piece of paper. Spying what looked like a notebook, half hidden under the coffee table, she hurried over and pulled it out. A pen with a chewed cap was stuck in the spine. Pulling the pen out, she glanced over at Spike to make sure he was still sleeping. Confident he was she opened the book to a blank page. A moment of slight panic struck her. She wasn't sure what to write. Finally, deciding to play it safe, she thanked him for last night and said that she would be back tonight to see if he wanted to patrol with her. She set the notebook on the coffee table where he was sure to see it when he woke up and hurried from the crypt. She didn't risk looking back again. Somehow she knew that if she did turn her head, even slightly, she would never leave.

Spike cautiously opened his eyes as he heard the door close softly. He had woken the moment she had brushed his cheek with her fingers, but somehow he knew that that had been a moment of what she would have perceived as a weakness and decided to pretend to still be asleep. Standing, Spike raised his arms over his head, sighing as his muscles uncramped and unknotted. He was turning towards the hole in the floor when he saw the note. A brief feeling of horror filled him when he realized that she had written the note in his poetry book. Despite the rational side of his mind telling him that she had not had time to read anything, he still felt unbelievably exposed. Pushing the thought aside, he quickly scanned the few lines she had left him and a genuine smile, not the usual smirk, lit up his face. She had thanked him, _thanked him, _for last night. She might not be completely sure what she wanted, but the note, the note was a start.

As Buffy approached the back door, she schooled her features into the pleasant, if vacant, expression she had been wearing since coming back. She opened the door, not completely sure who or what would be on the other side to greet her. When she stepped through the doorway, Buffy automatically glanced at the clock. It was a little after nine. Which would mean Dawn was already gone and she would not have the chance to see her until later. Buffy hoped that Dawn just thought she had had a late night and was sleeping in. The person who greeted her, thankfully, was Tara. The blond Wicca sat at the bar, eating a bowl of cereal.

"Dawn get off to school okay?" Buffy asked, closing the door behind her.

"Yeah. Xander picked her up a little before 8:30 a.m. She was a little w-w-worried when you weren't here, but I convinced here that if you w-w-were in t-t-trouble, S-s-spike would have been near by to help." Tar answered, giving Buffy an almost sly smile. "And just where were you all night?"

She debated a moment how to answer. A part of her told her to keep where she had been and who she had been with a secret. However, there was another part, a larger part, that wanted to tell and since Tara already knew, she was the perfect person to tell.

"With Spike." Buffy said softly, sitting on a bar stool next to Tara. "I still don't know if I love him, but… he makes me feel safe."

It was all Tara could do not to jump for joy. Their plan was so going to work! "T-t-that's a good thing, right?"

Buffy sighed. "I don't know. It should be. But this is Spike. Soulless, evil monster, right?"

Tara shook her head and pushed her now soggy cereal away. "T-t-that might have been what he was, b-b-but it's not what he is now. Maybe since I didn't know him when he was evil, I can see it more clearly. W-w-without the prejudice."

Buffy gave Tara a half-smile, thinking back on 'evil' Spike. "You know, even when he was evil, he wasn't… really evil. Does that make sense? I mean, he had so many chances to kill me and he never did. Not to mention, he helped me stop Angelus long before the chip or anything else."

Tara thought for a moment, then remembered Willow telling her about Buffy's first vampire boyfriend and what had happened when he had lost his soul. She carefully worded her next question.

"T-t-then what's stopping you, really?"

Buffy groaned and put her face in her hands. "I just don't know anymore. There's this part of me that tells me that being with a vampire is wrong. SO wrong. Also, Giles and Xander, would totally freak."

Tara put a hand on the Slayer's shoulder. "Does it r-r-really matter what they t-t-think? Don't you have a right to be happy?"

Buffy looked up and Tara saw tears in here eyes. "I don't know. Thanks for talking to me. I'm going to try to get some sleep."

The witch watched her leave with a sad smile. She really hoped that Buffy would realize that her friends were her friends and even though they would initially freak, if they wanted her to be happy they would accept the relationship between her and Spike. She glanced up at the clock. It was a little before 9:30 a.m. If she hurried she could catch Willow between classes and tell her the news.

Willow stared into her coffee cup, unsure what to make of Tara and Buffy's conversation. "She feels safe with him?"

"Yes. And that's a good thing. It means we're doing the right thing." Tara tried to comfort her lover. Willow had been nearly inconsolable since Buffy's revelation about where she had been.

"But why can't she tell me?" Willow wailed. It wasn't just the guilt eating at her. It was a desperate pain born from missing her best friend.

Tara knew she was in deep water here. "W-w-why don't you try to t-t-talk to her?"

"Do you think she wants to talk to me?" Willow's voice held the first hint of hope in a long time.

"You'll never k-k-know till you try."

Buffy stood in her closet indecisively. She wasn't sure what to wear and that was a first. She was just going patrolling. However, now that meant seeing Spike and whether it was irrational or not, she wanted to look good for him. Finally deciding on a pair of black leather pants and a burgundy halter top, she quickly changed as she heard a knock at her door.

"Come in." She said, once she was decent. As the door opened, she sat down on the bed, pulling on her stylish yet affordable boots.

Willow peaked her head in. "Mind if I come in for a minute?" Her voice was as hesitant as her smile.

Buffy felt the initial rush of anger at Willow that she always felt when she saw the witch. However, she was surprised that it had lessened a great deal and she wondered if her new found feelings for Spike were the cause. She softly smiled at her old friend.

"Sure. What's up?"

Willow walked in and saw the mess of clothes that decorated the floor and the bed. "Do you have a date or something?" She asked as she cleared a space so she could sit on the bed.

Buffy felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. In an attempt to hide it, she quickly stood, walked to the vanity and hurriedly busied herself with putting on a few touches of make-up. "No. Just patrolling."

"Oh." Willow thought for a moment, but she couldn't seem to come up with a way to ease into the conversation, so she just jumped in. "Are you going to see Spike?"

The slayer froze for a split second. If Willow hadn't been watching for it, she probably wouldn't have noticed.

"Um… Maybe?" She answered.

"You know, he was really… great to Dawn while you were… gone. I guess we never really gave him credit for that."

Buffy met Willow's eyes through the mirror, her shock almost betrayed in her eyes, before she returned her gaze to the assortment of make-up on the vanity in front of her. "Really? I'm surprised you even care."

Willow barely contained the flinch. She knew, now that Tara had pointed it out, that they had treated Spike horribly. "I care." She whispered. "I know I did a bad thing, Buffy. It seems like that's all we've been capable of. Even before… we never treated Spike very fairly. Then with the pulling…" She paused a moment and ran her hand over her face.

"I know I did a bad thing." She reiterated. "And I'm _sorry_. I swear I'm trying to change. Tara's helping me with the magic stuff. But, I just, I just really miss my best friend."

Unable to contain herself, Willow burst into tears. This wasn't what she had expected when she came in here. Of course, she hadn't been entirely sure what to expect, but this hadn't been it.

Buffy turned, unable to ignore the wracking sobs come from her friend. Taking in the abject pain, Buffy sighed and sat down next to Willow. She put an arm around her shoulder. "I guess we're both trying, okay? I'm trying get past… being back, but its hard. I think maybe we all deserve a fresh start."

Willow looked up through her tears. "A fresh start sounds like a good idea."

Buffy nodded, gave Willow's shoulders a gentle hug and stood. "I'm going to go patrol. Hopefully I won't be gone too long."

Just as Buffy was about to leave the room, Willow stopped her.

"Hey, Buffy, if you see Spike, tell him… tell him… I'm sorry."

She was rewarded with the largest smile she had seen on Buffy since she had been back. "I will."

AN 2: Well, that's part 3. Sorry not much Buffy/Spike, but I promise more in the next part. It's just one of the things that really bugged me about seasons six and seven is that they never really tried to fix Buffy and Willow's friendship. Remember, reviews keep me writing when I should be studying! 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Buffy and things Buffy-related belong Joss and ME.

AN: First things first, thanks to Cherryll, 3xy, and the child with no name, for the reviews. Second, apparently, my beta is having a little real life intervention and hasn't been able to look at this part yet. So, thanks to some prodding from 3xy and the child with no name, I decided to go ahead and post it, without it having been beta-ed. I'll probably do a revision once I do get her input, but until then, you have been warned, all mistakes are mine. Finally, I have finals this coming week, so I probably won't have a chance to work on the next part until after my last final on Wednesday. However, once finals are over, I can dedicate much more time to the story! :)

Part 4

Dawn lay in her room, writing in her diary. She was supposed to be doing homework, but she really didn't feel like it. She didn't feel like doing much of anything these days. She was feeling more than a little frustrated and left out. Tara and Willow were wrapped up in each other. And, while she now understood her sister's distance, it didn't help that Buffy spent all her time 'patrolling' with Spike. Although, she couldn't be completely mad about that either. Spike had spent a lot of time with her over the summer and Dawn knew how much he loved Buffy. It would be good for him if she started to acknowledge her feelings for him. It left Dawn very frustrated. She wanted more attention, but she couldn't see a way to ask for it without sounding, at least to herself, like a whiney baby. Despite the fact that that's how everyone was treating her, like a baby. Like she didn't understand or know anything. Just because she was technically only a couple of years old, didn't mean she felt or acted like it. A knock at her door interrupted her mental rant.

She looked up, surprised to find Willow in her door way. The red haired witch has steadily avoided her since Buffy had made her revelation. It was a good thing, Dawn thought her gaze narrowing, because she wasn't ready to forgive her yet.

"What do you want?" Dawn tried to make her voice cold, something she had heard lately from Buffy.

"I need, well, Tara, Spike and I need your help." Willow bit her lip. She really needed Dawn in on this. She hoped the teen was up for it.

Dawn raised an eyebrow at Willow, not ready to commit to anything. She had been ready to refuse out-right, but once Willow mentioned Tara and Spike, she decided to at least listen. Spike deserved her help and she still liked Tara.

Willow took the small crumb, stepped a little further into the room and closed the door. Logically, she knew that Buffy had left fifteen minutes ago for patrol, but she still wanted the added privacy.

Tara knocked hesitantly on Spike's door. Willow had called when she was on her way over and let her know that Dawn was in on the plan. Now, she just had to let Spike know.

The violence with which the door swung open caused her to jump. "S-s-spike," she squeaked.

Spike gave her suspicious look before ushering her in. "Glenda, what are you doing here? The slayer said she was stopping by and I don't think you want her catching you here."

"I d-d-drove, so I think I beat h-h-her here."

"Not by much, I'd wager, so you'd best spit it out."

Buffy made her way through the cemetery, heading for Spike's crypt. She casually looked for freshly dug graves, but her heart really wasn't in it. No, patrolling alone had lost its appeal. She blamed Spike. Partly because it was convenient. Partly because it was his fault, a small voice reasoned. There was a real poetry in the way he moved. She loved watching him fight. But it was more than that. She loved having someone that she could count on to have her back. The thought made her steps falter. Did she really count on Spike? She thought about it for a moment. Yes, she did. She had come to rely on him in the few months she'd been back. Not only for help patrolling, but for other things. She had come to rely on the fact that he let her be herself. She didn't have to pretend everything was fine. She had come to rely on the dark and silence around him. Her friends were loud and bright and that hurt. She had come to rely on _him_period. Now she learned that sleeping next to him alleviated her nightmares. A part of her was completely terrified at how much she was coming to rely on him. What if he left? The rational part of her mind told her that he would never leave her. However, it was almost drowned out by the other side; the side that hid her abandonment issues. It was the side that told her the minute she admitted she had some sort of feelings for him, he would leave.

She was so focused on her thoughts that she failed to notice the familiar car parked by the entrance nearest Spike's crypt. Which is why she was extremely disturbed when she heard voices coming from Spike's crypt. One of which was a feminine voice.

Buffy crept closer, using her slayer skills to move almost soundlessly. The door was slightly ajar, but she couldn't make out what they were saying, just Spike's masculine voice and the soft feminine one. Buffy frowned. Had Spike found a girlfriend? She wasn't ready to admit why that bothered her so much. She wasn't ready to admit why the mere thought of Spike having a girlfriend filled her with a murderous rage.

Unable to take the suspense any longer, she pushed the door open with a bit more force than necessary. The two people in the room jumped and turned toward the door as it slammed open. Seeing Tara and Spike, Buffy's rage turned immediately to confusion.

"Tara? What are you doing here?" She was proud that her voice sounded normal.

"I, uh, I just s-s-stopped by to see h-h-how Spike was d-d-doing, but since y-y-you're here, I'll go." Tara's gaze darted from Spike to Buffy. She wasn't sure she could lie her way out of this. She wasn't very good at subterfuge.

"Oh." Buffy was silent for a minute, then she looked at Spike. "Do you want to visit? I can patrol on my own."

Spike looked between the witch and the slayer. Making sure his face was angled away from the slayer, he winked at the witch. "Nah. Glenda here was jus' leaving. Though I thought it was a right nice gesture." He added his trademark smirk to his expression as he turned back to Buffy.

He could still see confusion on face, but she was beginning to believe them.

"I'd better get going. I-I-I'll see you at home, B-B-Buffy." Tara smiled encouragingly at Buffy as she passed. Once she had made it out the door, she sighed with relief. She would be glad once this was over.

Buffy looked Spike over, not quite ready to let the subject drop. "So what were you and Tara talking about?"

Spike panicked. He hadn't been lying when he'd told the witches he wasn't good at lying. It had just always made more sense to him to tell the truth. It made things simpler. So he quickly decided on a version of the truth.

"You."

"Huh?"

Spike walked over to her and gently took her arm, waiting for rejection. When it didn't come, he started out of the crypt. "We were talking about you, Slayer."

She allowed herself to be led out of the crypt, feeling a loss when Spike let go of her arm to close the door. However, a warm tingle started in her stomach when he took her had as they started to walk.

"What about me?" She wasn't ready to let the subject drop yet.

"Your mates are worried about you, pet. Seems like some of them don't like you spending so much time with yours truly. Apparently, Glenda got elected to come see me and find out what was going on."

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "It's none of their business who I spend time with."

Spike couldn't contain a smile at her statement. "I'm guessing they think it is."

Buffy snorted. "More likely they've finally figured out that I seek out your company more than theirs and they want to know why."

Spike froze, pulling Buffy to a sudden stop. "Pet, do you mean that?" His voice was strangled.

Buffy took the time to really look at her vampire. His face was so expressive. His eyes were even more so. They showed her how much he loved her. They showed her how much her little crumb meant to him. They were the window to his … Buffy felt her eyes widen at what she saw and from what she thought. She had almost let herself believe that Spike had a soul. It was so hard for her to believe that he didn't. How could someone be so amazing and not have a soul? Sometimes she wondered if having a soul really meant as much as everyone thought it did. Unable and unwilling to stop herself, she reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand. She gave him a soft smile.

"I do mean it. Spike, you give me such peace. My friends can't or won't understand that. I'm starting to wonder why what they think matters so much." Her smile widened as she saw the changes in emotion play in his eyes. Confusion, disbelief and finally a wary acceptance. He really thought she would take the statement back.

Throwing caution, her friends' opinions and her own nagging inner voice, to the wind, she brushed her thumb across his soft lips. Then she reached up and kissed him softly on the cheek.

"Thank you, Spike."

"For what?" He asked, his voice hoarse. He really couldn't believe what was happening. Surely the world was going mad.

"For anything and everything. On the way over, I realized how much I've come to rely on you and I want you to know it." She wasn't sure what was making her so honest and brave, but for the moment she wasn't going to question it. "I've been so lost since I've been back and you've helped me find my way. I just don't want you to leave me." The last sentence was spoken in a whisper so low only vampires and slayers could have heard it.

"God, woman, don't you know yet that I could never leave you?" Spike groaned at her admission, then pulled her into his arms. He couldn't help himself. She looked up at him with wide green eyes, but made no move to pull away. In fact, her hand slid from his cheek to rest on his shoulder and her other settled on his waist. His eyes filled with desire as he slowly lowered his head.

He's going to kiss me, she realized. She wasn't sure what would make this kiss different than any of the others they had shared recently, but she knew it would be. And she wanted it. With a soft sigh, she closed her eyes and leaned into him. A second later, their lips met.

This kiss was soft at first, just a gentle pressure of lips. Slowly it changed, becoming more passionate. He ran his tongue over her lips, silently begging entry. Her lips parted with a soft groan. His tongue entered her mouth almost cautiously, softly exploring. Her arms drifted up so that her hands locked behind his neck, pulling him even closer. Growing bolder, Buffy let her own tongue explore his mouth, stroking the soft flesh on the inside of his lips. He sighed in pleasure, allowing his hands to slip under her shirt to caress the soft skin of her lower back. Finally, Buffy's need for air drew them apart. She leaned her hand on his shoulder, breathing heavily. It was then she noticed the soft tremors running through Spike.

"What are we doing?" Her voice was low and hoarse. She had never had a simple kiss turn her on that much nor express the amount of feeling Spike had put into it.

"I don't rightly know, luv." Spike's answer was hesitant. He was waiting for her to go running off.

"We don't have to define it, do we?"

"No, luv, we don't have to define it." Spike squeezed her tightly for a moment before loosening his grip. "It doesn't have to mean anything."

Buffy looked up at him, irritated suddenly. "I didn't say it didn't mean anything, I just said I didn't want to define it." She pulled the rest of the way away from him. She wasn't completely sure what had caused her sudden irritation, but it was there and now she wanted to kill something.

"Shall we finish our patrol?" She started walking toward the back part of the cemetery.

Spike looked up at the stars. "This is some kinda bloody test, right?" He shook his head and hurried to catch up with his slayer.

Tara, Dawn and Willow sat at the dining room table later that evening. A couple of pizza boxes, each with about a half a pizza left sat on the table in front of them. They were finalizing their plans.

"This is so going to work!" Dawn's voice carried an enthusiasm that only a teenager could manage. "I have a test that day. All I have to do is ace it and we'll have the perfect excuse."

Tara smiled. It looked like a mutual need for Buffy to be happy was giving Dawn enough reason to soften her attitude toward Willow.

Tara shared a look with Willow. They both knew how bad Dawn's grades had been lately.

"Are you sure you CAN ace it?" Tara asked slyly.

Dawn's excited look quickly turned confused then murderous. Luckily, the witches were spared the wrath of the key as the heard the front door open and close.

Buffy looked surprised to see them all at the table.

"So, how was patrolling?" Dawn asked, turning with a too large smile to greet Buffy. She hoped her quick question would keep her sister from wondering what they were up to.

"Um, okay? Just a couple of fledglings." Buffy eased her way into the dining room, still unsure what the two witches and her sister were up. It was obvious that they were up to something.

"We ordered pizza. You hungry?" Willow too, tried to distract Buffy from her questions.

"No, I'm not really hungry." Buffy sighed. She decided not to put any more thought into what the other three were up too. Tara was involved and that was enough reassurance for her. Tara would never let them do anything too crazy.

"Dawn, it's time for bed. You've got school in the morning." Buffy scolded when she noticed the time. It was almost one in the morning.

Dawn groaned, but did as she was told. She was a little tired from all the excitement. She paused on her way out of the room to give Buffy a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, you know that right?" Dawn asked.

Buffy's eyes widened. "Of course I know that. I love you too." She pulled her sister in for a tight hug. It felt like it had been a really long time since she had done that.

AN2: Sorry it's a little on the short side. Remember, reviews are a writer's bread and butter so be sure to hit that little button at the bottom of the page.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say anything

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say anything?

AN: Sorry it's taken so long to update. Real life has been a real bear and my beta's employer has been keeping her extremely busy. Thanks to PurpleIvy for your review. I want to thank the child with no name and 3xy for your constant reviews and for sticking with me. (No, it's not the last part yet, I just wanted to let you guys know I appreciate you.) I'm sorry if I didn't give you a personal reply, but like I said, life's been crazy. I would also like to thank those of you who put my story on alert. I'm not sure if I had thanked you guys or not, but it helps to know that, even if you don't feel comfortable leaving a review, you're still following the story. As always, a big thanks goes out to my beta, Courtney, for taking the time to proof read this. As you can tell, I'm a little on the thankful side today. Word of warning, I hate this chapter. For some reason it didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted it to go, but here it is.

Part 5

Buffy sat at the dining room table, her elbows on the table and her chin resting on her folded hands, her eyes staring straight ahead. She was having trouble processing everything she had just learned. According to Anya, she was "hemorrhaging" money. According to the lady from social services, if Dawn didn't stop cutting class and get her grades up, they were going to take her away. How am I supposed to deal with all this, she thought, bordering on panic?

She tried to remember what finances were like before she had died, but they hadn't been a priority then. The most she could recall was that her mother had had two moderate life insurance policies. After the funeral and the hospital bills there had still been a fair amount left. She wondered what had happened to it. Her lips narrowed as she remembered how Willow and Tara had flounced out of here after Anya had delivered the news. Why the hell weren't they helping out? It wasn't that she didn't want to pull her share, but it seemed as though the others felt as though they didn't need to pull theirs. Buffy sighed and ran a hand over her face. She needed to talk to Spike. He had recently shown a talent for making sense out of the thoughts swirling in her head.

With the decision made, she hurried up stairs to shower and change.

A short while later Buffy was on her way to Spike's crypt. It was a beautiful summer afternoon. The birds were singing. The sun was shinning. Kids were playing. And it all made Buffy's head hurt. She adjusted her sunglasses and quickened her pace.

Once she got to the cemetery, things were quieter and Buffy sighed in relief. There had been a time that she had believed she belonged in that bright world. Now she wasn't so sure. She was truly beginning to believe Spike when he said she belonged in the dark with him. There were so many things that tied the slayer to the night and there were so many things in the bright world that made her long for the darkness of night; the uncomplicated life of the hunt. She knew that it was good that she had ties to the bright world, but in a way the problems there seemed so small to her. How could finding a job to pay the mortgage compete with fighting the forces of darkness to save the entire world? How could her sister not understand that she needed to behave better or risk getting sent to their uncaring father? Buffy rubbed her temple. She was starting to get a headache.

A few feet from Spike's door, Buffy froze. For the second time in two days, she had arrived at Spike's crypt to find another woman there. Remembering that it had only been Tara last time, she entered the crypt a bit softer. Although she was more than a little shocked to see exactly who was visiting Spike.

"Buffy, I can explain. . . ." Dawn started.

Buffy held up her hand forestalling the younger Summers' girl. Now she knew the reason Dawn had been skipping class. It wasn't even two yet. She should still be in class.

"Slayer," Spike started, hoping to intercede on the Bit's behalf.

She fixed him with a look and he immediately fell silent. It was the look that said if he said anything else, he was going to get his ass kicked.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Buffy asked, her voice deceptively soft.

"Yeah, but . . . ."

"NO." Buffy's voice cracked through the air. "No buts."

She stalked closer to her sister. The young girl's face finally took on a look close to worry.

Stopping a few feet in front of Dawn, Buffy stared into her eyes, trying to find something. Something that would tell her what she needed to say to make her sister understand the seriousness of the situation.

"Let's hear your excuse." Buffy said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Dawn weakly gestured to the school books spread out on the sarcophagus behind them. "I have a test on the Boxer Rebellion on Friday. Spike was helping me study."

"And you had to do this during school hours?"

"Not exactly. It's just I have math last period and Laura Jamison is in my class and she's been saying things about me."

Buffy stared at Dawn so long that she began to squirm under the direct gaze.

"So instead of dealing with your problems you run away. This has to stop. I don't know what Laura Jamison has been saying and I really don't care. You keep saying that want everyone to treat you like an adult, but you're not acting like one." Buffy refused to acknowledge the irony of her lecturing on not running away from your problems. After all, in the past, it had been her favorite way of dealing.

"Do you know I had a visit from social services today?" Buffy asked, abruptly switching subjects.

"No. What does that have to do with . . . ."

"She told me that if you don't bring your grades up and stop skipping class, they're going to take you away from me. They are going to take you and give you to our father. They are going to send you to the man who couldn't be bothered to even send a card when Mom died. The same man whose new wife is a year younger than me."

Dawn wanted to reject what Buffy was saying then realize she couldn't. She had some experience with social services when Buffy first …. The bot had almost messed things up, but that had been her fault too. She had mentioned Spike and the bot went off on how wonderful he was. Luckily Willow had come in at just the right moment and managed to get the situation back under control. Which had been a good thing, because at the time, she had been mortified at what Buffy would have thought at having social services think Spike was her boyfriend. Although given recent developments, maybe that wouldn't have been such a bad idea. It might have gotten them together sooner.

Buffy watched the emotions play on her sister's face. Maybe she was finally beginning to understand the situation. "So whatever your problem with this girl is, you need to deal with it. I need you to understand exactly what is at stake. Do you?"

"I understand." Dawn's reply was barely audible. She lowered her head, unable to meet the Slayer's direct gaze. Even though they were discussing sister stuff, she was definitely talking to the Slayer. Until then she hadn't realized that there had been such a distinct difference between the two. And the slayer was going to hold her responsible for her actions even if she hadn't realized they would be so severe.

Buffy nodded in satisfaction. "Good. Now, you're grounded."

Dawn's head shot up. "What?"

"No where but school and home for the next two weeks. No phone. No friends. No nothing. If you bring your grades up by then we'll talk. If not . . . ." Buffy trailed off. She wasn't sure what she would do if not, but she could see just the prospect of there being an "if not" had scared Dawn. She was pretty sure there wouldn't be.

However, the panicked look she sent Spike next was a mystery. Dawn hurriedly looked back at Buffy, coming up with a fairly quick excuse. "But what about my test? Spike's the best person to study with. After all, he was actually there!"

Buffy narrowed her eyes, as she glanced between the two. She was sure there was something else going on here.

"If Spike agrees he can come over and help you after sun set." She spared Spike a glance and he nodded.

Spike had been watching the exchange closely. Something else had happened today. There was a tension in the slayer that hadn't been there last night. True, she hadn't exactly been pliable after his misstep after their kiss, but this was different.

"Go home, Dawn. Right now I need to talk to Spike alone. After that I have to stop by the Magic Box. When I'm finish, I'll come home and we'll talk more."

Dawn looked as though she were going to protest, but the steely resolve in her sister's eyes stopped her. Well, she wanted her sister to pay her more attention. The old phrase "be careful what you wish for" flitted through her mind. Boy was she glad she hadn't voiced any wishes to the weird guidance counselor today. If silent wishing got her grounded, she really didn't want to find out what wishing aloud would get her. She quickly gathered up her books.

Before heading out the door, Dawn paused and gave her sister a hug. Even if it wasn't exactly what she was hoping for, she still had more attention from her sister and, in her book, that was a good thing.

Buffy was startled by the hug, certain that Dawn wouldn't be talking to her. "I'll see you at home."

Buffy allowed a small smile to grace her face as Dawn hurried out the door. She now understood some of what her mother had gone through.

"So, pet, are you going to read me the riot act too?" Spike asked, hopping up on the newly cleared off sarcophagus.

Buffy looked at him with a soft smile. He truly expected her to yell at him even though he had no control over Dawn leaving school early. The smile fell slowly and she turned from the honesty in his face.

"No." She said softly. Thinking back, she did have a habit of blaming him for things that weren't strictly his fault.

"Hey, luv, didn't mean to upset you." Spike was confused by her soft answer. It hadn't been what he was expecting, but then he was quickly learning that most of his recent expectations were wrong. "Why don't you tell me what you wanted to talk to me about?"

She turned back to him and just stared for a minute. He was watching her expectantly. His face serious and she could tell that he was ready to listen to whatever she had to say. His listening ability was one of the things she loved most about him. Wait, loved? Where in the hell had that come from? Mentally shaking her head, Buffy brushed the thought away. She definitely wasn't ready to deal with that.

Spike's eyes narrowed as he saw several undefined emotions flit across his slayer's face. Then she suddenly paled. "What's wrong, luv?"

"Nothing." She brushed his concern off as color returned to her cheeks. Buffy slowly made her way over to him and pulled herself up to sit next to him.

"I don't know what to do, Spike."

"About what, luv?" He asked softly, taking her hand in his.

She stared down at their joined hands for a moment. Their hands fit perfectly together. It made her wonder how they would fit together in other ways. She quickly brushed that thought away too. Now was so not the time. Taking a deep breath she began to tell him what she had found out today.

Willow, Tara, Giles, Xander and Anya sat around the table at the Magic Box. Despite Anya's strenuous objections, she had put the closed sign up at Willow's insistence. Given Willow and Tara's revelation, she was kind of glad that she had. It would only be a matter of seconds before the world exploded. And she was right.

"Are you out of your bloody mind!?" Giles exploded first. "To think that Buffy would even stoop to such a low level is simply incomprehensible!"

"Yeah!" Xander chimed in. "There's no way our Buffy would have feelings for that undead thing."

Since Xander was sitting next to Tara, he got the direct focus of her anger. She reached over and smacked him on the back of the head. All eyes turned to her in astonishment.

"I'm really sick of the way you treat Spike." Tara was proud that she got that out without stuttering, but then she knew her stuttering was related to her almost incapacitating shyness. She was so fed up with how everyone treated Spike. Her comment had been aimed at Xander, but her gaze included the entire table.

"S-s-spike was nothing short of amazing while Buffy was dead." Tara paused trying to gather her thoughts. Now that she had the floor she intended to keep.

"He saved all of our lives on several occasions this summer." Her words were slow and deliberate. She wanted to get through the entire speech without stuttering. She saw Xander starting to object and she fixed him with a look that stopped his comment. "That includes you Xander. And you can't say it was just to get in Buffy's pants. She wasn't here and as far as he was concerned, she never would be again. He helped and comforted Dawn in a way that none of us could. He put aside his grief to help a young girl just because he made a promise. Almost everyone in this room has continuously sold Spike short just because he's a vampire."

"I haven't," Anya interjected.

Tara smiled. "No you haven't. But you're the only one." She turned her attention to Giles.

"And you. I don't even know where to begin. In case you haven't noticed Buffy has grown into a smart beautiful woman. Yes, she's the slayer and we all depend on her, but she's also a woman. Something you seem determined to ignore."

"I never…." Giles started to object, but he too was silenced with a look.

"Yes, you do. You constantly expect her to come up with a solution to defeat whatever big bad we're dealing with, then undermine it. Even if the plan works, you tell her what she could have done differently, never that she did a good job. And your treatment of Spike is even worse. You treat him as though he's less than the rest of us, that he doesn't deserve our respect. He deserves that more than anyone else. He has strived to completely change his nature." Seeing Xander about to object again, and knowing where he was going, she headed him off.

"The chip might have been the catalyst, but it wasn't the start. The start was before that when he helped Buffy beat Angelus. Don't forget that the chip didn't stop him from gathering minions and destroying the world that way. No, despite how he's always been treated, he's helped. Sometimes for blood or money, and sometimes, just because. Despite the way you treated him, he still helped us while Buffy was gone. Considering the hatred and dismissal he's gotten from the Scooby's it's a wonder he even still tries."

Tara paused then, to see if her words were having an effect. They were, albeit a reluctant one.

"If Spike can make Buffy happy, then they both deserve that chance. A slayer's life is short and brutal and," she gave Willow a pointed look, "we can't always bring her back from the dead. She deserves to find what happiness she can, especially now."

"I'm not saying that everyone has to immediately be his best friend, but I think you guys can start, at the very least, being civil to him."

"Do you realize you just said all that without stuttering?" Xander asked wanting to concentrate on anything other than the fact that Tara was right.

Tara smiled hugely, though a bit self-consciously. "I can do that, if it's something r-r-really important."

"So, are we done now? We know what the plan is, you've given us your lecture and the boys have agreed to play nice. I want to stop loosing money." Anya stated with her usual bluntness.

Tara nodded and Anya hurried to unlock the door.

Buffy walked toward the Magic Box feeling better. A smile stayed on her lips. Spike had wanted to come with; he had been afraid that they would gang up on her. However, she was sure she could handle it. Strangely enough Spike himself had given her the courage to be able to handle it. He had been suitably outraged at the fact that the witches weren't helping out monetarily wise at the house. He had seen how freely they had spent Buffy's money while she'd been gone and told her so. Buffy hadn't known what to make of the information. She was sure some of it had to be grief driven spending. After her mother's death the doctor had given her some pamphlets about handling grief. One of the things they had mentioned was not to go on spending sprees. Obviously no one had given them any of those pamphlets.

However, the time for thinking had come to an end, she had reached her destination. The bell over the door jingled and she walked into the store. Anya was standing behind the register, ringing up a customer. She was slightly surprised to find Xander and both witches sitting at the table. Xander was usually still at work at this time.

"Hey guys." She said as she made her way over to them. She sat down across from Willow and Tara, yet still managing to stay a couple of seats away from Xander. Ever since she'd been back, she'd developed a sort of claustrophobia.

"Can I talk to you guys for a second?" She asked, looking at Willow and Tara.

Sensing something was up, but not wanting to be in the middle of it, Xander mumbled something and headed over to Anya.

"What's up, Buffy?" Willow asked.

Buffy thought for a moment. She couldn't come up with a delicate way to put it, so she pulled a Spike and just blurted it out.

"I need you guys to pay rent or move out."

Willows mouth opened and closed several times. Buffy was surprised to see the serene smile on Tara's face.

"Well say something."

"Okay." Tara said softly. Sensing Willow was about to say something, Tara tightened the grip on her hand. Honestly, it was something that should have been brought up long ago.

"Good." Buffy sighed with relief. She'd expected this to be harder. But then, maybe she shouldn't have. Other than Spike, Tara was the only one of her friends that seemed to understand her. "So, we'll get together later and figure out the details, okay? I've got to go talk to Dawn."

She left them with a brief smile and a wave to Xander and Anya.

"You agree?" Willow asked.

Tara gazed at her lover in astonishment. "You d-d-don't? It is her h-h-house, Willow. Considering she d-d-doesn't get paid for her f-f-full-time job, she needs help. And we s-s-should be the ones to g-g-give it to her."

Willow sighed heavily. "Put it that way…. You're right. We should have said something about it ourselves this morning."

Tara nodded. "But w-w-we were in a h-h-hurry to get here to talk to the o-o-others. Speaking of w-w-which, where did G-G-Giles go?"

"His office. I think he's got more thinking to do than any of us."

Buffy climbed into bed that night with a sense of satisfaction. Willow and Tara had agreed to pay a reasonable amount for rent. Of course it didn't completely cover the monthly bills and she would still have to get a part-time job, but now she had time to actually look for something suitable. To think she had actually been considering the ad for counter help at the Doublemeat Palace.

She and Dawn had had a good talk when she'd gotten home from the Magic Box. The younger Summers finally saw the potential consequences of her actions and had been properly contrite. Buffy had finally noticed that her sister was more mature and intelligent than most kids her age. It almost pained her to admit, but, other than the moderate acting out, Dawn was a better teenager than she was. Dawn had even convinced her that if she got an A on her history exam that they could go to open mic night at The Bronze. Buffy smiled ruefully. Yeah, her sister was definitely a better teenager. She would never have been able to convince their mom to let her out when she was grounded no matter the reason.

Patrol with Spike had been equally satisfying. They had run into a couple large purple demons. They had kind of reminded Buffy of that purple dinosaur on TV. However, unlike the questionably loveable dinosaur, the demons had been extremely hard to kill. It had been wonderful. As she settled deeper under the covers she smiled at that thought. Spike would have been the only one to understand it, if she'd said it out-loud. He understood that the slayer side of her needed that thrill of the hunt. The need for that evenly matched fight. Her smile broadened as she remembered the kisses they had shared after they had defeated the demons. They had been the total high point of her evening. It amazed her that her day could start out so bad and end up so good. Of course, considering how she'd run from Spike, trying to assure him that she just wanted to get home to talk to Dawn before she went to bed, he probably wouldn't say that it ended good. She wasn't completely sure that he had believed her, but she had time. With that thought she drifted into a deep sleep and began to dream.

AN2: I was going to include the dream in this part, but I decided I wanted to spend more time on it, so tune in next time! :) Muhahahahaha Remember, the little review button works wonders.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: You know who owns them and its not me.

AN: Thanks to the child with no name, PurpleIvy and rkm for your reviews! I was so happy to hear you guys liked the last chapter since I was so unhappy with it. I think I was just in a hurry to get to this part. The update was delayed because I was having trouble with the ending. As always, thanks to my beta, Courtney, for taking time out of her busy schedule to help me polish this up.

Part 6

Buffy squinted her eyes as she peered around her. All that surrounded her was dry desert. A quick look around confirmed she was near the place where they had summoned the first slayer. With an irritated look at the overly bright sun, she started up the path. As Buffy slowly made her way along the path, a figure began to take form. It appeared to be a woman, but Buffy couldn't be sure that it wasn't just a mirage from the heat. As she drew closer, the figure became more solid until Buffy realized that it was, in fact, a woman. The woman faced away from her, staring out into the desert. The wind tossed her long blond hair and gauzy blue dress around her, making her appear surreal. Buffy assumed it was Tara. After all, Tara, for whatever reason, was her guide in these places. Despite the fact that the woman never turned around, as Buffy got closer she realized it wasn't Tara. This woman had a warrior's body. Her arms were well defined and she stood starkly straight. The stance usually looked stiff, but this woman made it look as though she were a cat waiting to spring on an unsuspecting prey. And she was familiar.

Finally Buffy reached the other woman and came to stand next to her. Staring out into the vastness of the desert, she couldn't see what the other woman was looking at. So, she turned to look at her instead. Her features were sharp angles softened with a feminine glow. Her bright blue eyes reminded her of Spike. And she was _familiar_, but for the life of her, Buffy couldn't place where she knew her from.

"So, what am I doing here?" Buffy asked, tired of the silence. "And does it have to be so bright?"

The other woman smiled, lighting up her face and turned to face Buffy. "No, it doesn't." And with that it became night. The soft glow from the stars softened the barren landscape.

The woman started to walk and Buffy had no choice but to follow. "So, what am I doing here?"

"We're here to talk about your gift."

Buffy groaned and rolled her eyes. "Please not the whole death is my gift speech again. Already tried that and it didn't stick."

The woman gave a short laugh. "No it didn't. And no, no speeches this time. Hopefully just a straightforward conversation."

"Okay, how's this for straightforward, who are you? And why are you here?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy, you know me." She said with soft admonishment. The woman turned and gave Buffy a look that she couldn't read.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief that she did know this woman and it wasn't just her imagination. But even as she gazed at the blonde, she couldn't place her face with a meeting.

"Okay, so I do know you, but I don't remember…" She trailed off. Somehow, she knew, the last time she had seen this woman, she hadn't looked like this.

The woman smiled brightly as she saw Buffy slowly put it together. "We met during your brief stay."

Then it clicked. She'd met this woman in heaven.

"My name's Cassie. I was the slayer before you." She gave Buffy a sad look, "sorry about that."

Buffy immediately knew what she was talking about. Her death had made Buffy the Slayer. "Why? You couldn't have prevented your death."

Cassie sighed. "I want to believe that. But I had lived longer than most slayers and I was so tired of fighting. Perhaps I picked a fight I knew I couldn't win."

"Death wish?" Buffy asked, remembering Spike's statement that all slayers had a death wish.

"Not exactly, but we're not here to talk about me. We're here to talk about you and your gift."

Buffy groaned. "How is death a gift?"

"You are thinking of things in a very straight line, Buffy. The life of the Slayer isn't a straight line and neither are things concerning her. You should know by now that death has many forms."

"Forms?" She still didn't understanding what the other woman was talking about. "Dead is dead."

Cassie tried hard not to laugh. "Is it? Are you dead? Is a ghost dead? Are vampires?" She said the last part slyly.

"Okay, fine. There are different types of dead, but how does that relate to my gift. I died, gave my life for my sister."

The pair stopped before a large bond-fire. A couple logs had been pulled near and together they sat down.

"That was a truly amazing gift, Buffy. But it was your gift to give. What the first slayer didn't make clear, was that the gift was _for_ you."

"How can death be a gift for me?" Buffy was even more confused.

"Buffy, if a slayer is going to live very long, she needs someone. Someone to have her back. Someone to keep her sharp. Someone to give her a greater reason to fight."

"The Watchers…"

Cassie held up her hand, stopping Buffy before she could finish. "The Watchers are not slayers. Just because they think they know what we're about, they think they can control us. The smartest thing you did was quit the council. My own watcher understood better than most and gave me the leeway I needed to do what needed to be done." She shared a smile with Buffy. "Of course, that didn't make either of us very popular. Did your watcher tell you that I'm the one that got them to instate a salary for slayers?"

Buffy frowned. "They must not have kept that because I never got paid. Nobody even mentioned money, just destiny."

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Figures. Travers probably got promoted and got rid of that little clause."

"You knew Travers?"

Cassie nodded. "Better than I'd care to admit. He was my watcher's direct supervisor and he loved to make "surprise" inspections to check on my training. John never would let me tell him off. I should have done it anyway, given the circumstances."

"Which are?"

"Again, not the reason we're here."

"Fine, let's get back to my death gift." Buffy grumbled. Cassie's story sounded more interesting.

Cassie stared into Buffy's eyes and she knew. She knew that no matter how much she hinted at it, that Buffy would never even consider her gift for what it was.

"Spike is your gift, Buffy." Cassie said, not breaking eye contact.

Buffy shot up and started to pace in front of the fire. "WHAT!? You're going to have to explain to me how the evil undead is my gift!"

Cassie, again, tried not to laugh. The petite blond was amusing. "Sit down, Buffy and I will."

With barely contained nervousness, Buffy sat next to the other woman. "How can a vampire be a gift for a slayer?"

Cassie sighed. "Here's where it gets complicated. Spike isn't like any other vampire. Most vampires are true demons bent on destruction or world domination or both. Spike has never fit into that mold. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that he was turned by a psychic, insane vampire. I don't know."

It was Cassie's turn to stand and pace. "The whole dynamic between you and Spike completely threw off The Powers That Be. They didn't see it coming. The two of you are like two halves to a whole or yin and yang. He needs you to balance the blood lust and you need him to ground you, to balance the overwhelming righteousness inherent in the slayer. Not all demons are evil just as not all slayers are good. This world is great big shade of gray. After the two of you teamed up to defeat Angelus, the Powers That Be stood up and took notice. The potential force that could be created if the two of you joined forces made them. Everything that happened after that was at least partially engineered to bring the two of you together. They didn't realize that the slayer righteousness would cause you to reject him outright. They assumed because you had made an exception for a vampire before, you would again."

"But Angel had a soul." Buffy was quick to interject.

Cassie stopped pacing in front of Buffy and stood there looking down at her. "And just how important is a soul?"

She asked the question Buffy no longer had an answer for.

"Hitler had a soul. Every single murderer and rapist in every single prison has a soul. Does that make them better than Spike?"

"No!" Buffy's denial was vehement and immediate.

Cassie nodded, satisfied and sat back down next to Buffy. "Maybe it was your death that let you see that, but for a long time you turned a blind eye to the fact that a soul does not mean that a person is good. Just like not having a soul does not mean that a person, or in this case, a vampire, is evil. It may be most of the time, but not always. It's all part of that beautiful shade of gray. Which brings us back to your gift. The first slayer was all about the riddles but I'm all about the straightforward. You should explore your feelings for Spike. Don't hide them. I think those feelings and the ability to explore and express them are truly the gift. Duty was all I had and in the end, it wasn't enough."

Buffy nodded. She could understand duty not being enough which was why she had always strived to have something besides slaying in her life.

"What about my friends?" She knew how they would react. She knew how they felt. Or at least thought she did.

Cassie smiled brightly, knowing what those same friends were up to. "If they're truly your friends, they'll understand."

And with a flash of light, Buffy sat straight up in bed.

"Well, no need for interpretation there." She mumbled then looked at the clock. It was little after 4 a.m. There would be time to decide what to do later. Right now, she was going back to sleep.

Across town, in Restfield Cemetery, Spike was watching a Tales from the Darkside marathon. Without even realizing it, he slipped into a deep sleep and began to dream.

AN2: I know you can't tell from the speed of updates, but I promise reviews really help!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Buffy and all things Buffy-related belong to the mighty Joss and ME. Original characters are mine!!

AN: Thanks to the child with no name, Rabidreject, Rihannon, paper0clip, PEROXIDE and Laura Janneck for the reviews. I added just a little British slang in this part, trying to make Spike a little more Spike-ish. However, as an American, I can't say for sure I used it right, so feel free to correct me! :) As always, a special thanks goes to my beta, Courtney. You've saved me from more than one headache!

Part 7

Spike opened his eyes to find himself staring up at the starry night sky. He sat up with a start and looked around him. He was in the desert and he hadn't a clue how he'd gotten there.

"Bloody hell!" He groaned as he stood up. "I'm gonna kill Willie for spiking the blood!"

A husky laugh from behind caused him to spin around. He found himself facing a tall, athletic blond. She stood in a way that told him she was an expert fighter. There was sense of cat ready to pounce. Her features made her pretty and her smile lit up her face.

"Who are you?"

The woman's smile widened if that was possible.

"Come on, Spike. We don't really have a lot of time, but I really wanted to meet you." The woman looped her arm through his and began to lead him up the path.

Spike was trying really hard to wrap his mind around what was going on, but he was having a hard time since he didn't really _know_ what was going on.

"Bugger, woman, are you going to tell me who you are and what's going on or not?" Spike exclaimed as they made their way toward a large bond fire. He looked over into laughing blue eyes that surprisingly reminded him of his own.

"You're just as impatient as she is, you know?" The woman led Spike over to where a couple of logs had been pulled up by the fire and gently urged him to sit down with her.

"My name is Cassie and I am," she paused and slight frown marred her brow, "was, the Slayer." The frown cleared up and her face was once again transformed by a smile. "And I guess you can call what's going on a Slayer dream."

"Are you out of your mind? Why in the hell would a vampire be having a slayer dream?" Spike scoffed. Then as an afterthought added, "as impatient as who?"

"As impatient as Buffy. You just missed her." The mischievous look in Cassie's eyes belied her innocent tone.

Spike sighed. "So, what, it's with the riddles now, right? The Slayer said you guys are full of them."

Cassie shook her head. The conversation was really like déjà vu. These two definitely deserved each other. "No, no riddles. I've never been any good at them."

The two sat side by side for a long silent minute. "So, then, why am I here?"

"I really just wanted to meet you, Spike. The path you're on…. Well, let's just say it's the right one and it's going to lead you to great things."

Spike looked over at the former Slayer. "Great things, huh? Like what?"

Cassie smiled. "Do you really think they'd let me tell you?"

Spike couldn't help himself, he laughed. No the stinking Powers That Be certainly wouldn't want him to know what was coming.

"So you've met me, what do you think?" Spike turned away from her to stare into the fire, not quite certain he wanted to hear the answer. He'd never met muster for anyone before, why would now be any different? He was startled when Cassie took his hand.

"Spike, I have to say I'm honored to meet you. The things you've accomplished by sheer force of will, or rather force of love, is simply amazing."

Spike's eyes were full of disbelief as he turned to Cassie. "Huh?"

"I'm serious, Spike. The way you've changed for Buffy made the Powers That Be take notice. That's something that few ever do. You and Buffy are destined for great things."

Cassie looked down for a moment and when she looked back up, there was an undefined emotion in them. "Don't mistake me. Things are going to get worse before they get better. You and Buffy need to work through whatever issues that are remaining sooner rather than later. Because if you don't," she paused to look deep into his eyes, making sure he understood, "if you don't, let's just it would be bad."

"It would be bad?" Spike echoed. "Wasn't that in a movie?"

"Don't mention this dream to Buffy until after your plan. Like I said, you're on the right path, so keep it up."

Cassie favored him with one last smile and then a bright flash of light blinded him.

It was then the images began to flood his mind. Most of them flew by so fast he was unable to comprehend what was happening in them. The emotions came through the clearest. And it left him with no doubt that if he didn't stay on his current path, his relationship with Buffy would change. It would mutate into something destructive, violent and utterly depraved. There were some images that lingered. One was of him and Buffy in some alley. He was on the ground and she was crouched above him, beating him within an inch of his life. The emotions coming from them would have taken his breath away if he'd had need of it. Anger, rage, resentment and fierce pain came from Buffy. His own were less clear. There was a desperate need to protect her, a deep overwhelming sadness and a feeling of hopelessness. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the words coming out of her mouth. He couldn't catch all of them, but the ones he did he wished he hadn't.

"I am not your girl!"

"You don't … have a soul!"

"There is nothing good or clean in you."

"You are dead inside!"

"I could never … be your girl!"

"You always hurt … the one you love, pet."

The other image sent a chill straight to core of his being. He recognized the bathroom as being the one in Buffy's house. She stood by the tub in a robe, filling it with water. The feelings of vulnerability, pain, frustration and hopelessness were more than overwhelming; had he been standing they would have driven him to his knees. He sees himself standing in the doorway watching. From his position as a silent observer he knew that this was not the time for whatever confrontation he had wanted, but his other self seemed oblivious to the fact. His own feelings of frustration, anger and desperation raged. They demanded something; something he couldn't define. As before, the words came to him in spurts.

"I'm sorry. Not that it matters any more, but I needed you to know that."

"Then you might want to try the not sleeping with my friends."

"You should have let him kill me."

"I couldn't do that."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Because you love me."

"I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love."

Then the scene seems to skips and suddenly, he's attacking her. Trying to kiss her, grope her and ripping her robe away while her screams of "no" and "stop" and "ow" grate like knives in his brain. Suddenly, she's finally able to fend him off, sending him flying across the bathroom.

She's standing above him, holding her robe closed and in a voice so empty he wept said, "Ask me again why I could never love you."

The scene slowly faded to black as he heard Cassie's voice. "Stay on your path, Spike, please. Don't let this happen. And for God's sake, please don't tell her about this until after you finish your plan."

The desperation in her voice left no doubt in Spike's mind that he would heed her warning.

Spike jumped to his feet and looked around frantically. He was in his crypt. He slumped back down in his chair, suddenly weak-kneed. The things he'd seen and felt left him trembling. Now the vampire who was one of the worst liars in the word had the mother of all secrets. "Bloody hell. Bloody slayers and their bloody secrets."

He reached for the bottle of bourbon on table in front of him. As if this week wasn't going to be long enough.

AN2: First, the dialog from Seeing Red came from twiztv. Second, I know it's a little on the short side, but I wanted to give Spike's dream its own chapter. Third, and this is the part my faithful readers aren't going to like, I have really bad writer's block. I've got the ending figured out, I just don't know how to get from here to there. So any suggestions would most definitely be welcome. Also, I'm going to be moving on the 15th so this week is going to be incredibly busy so I'm not going to have time to work on it until after then. Please review anyway?!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Like I really need to say anything.

AN: Sorry the update has taken so long. I've had writer's block, moved, been sick and had family from out of town visiting. Just excuses, I know, but… Anyway, I think this is the last part. There may be an epilogue, but we'll see how this part goes.

Thanks to the child with no name for your continued encouragement, thanks to rkm for the review on the last chapter. A special thanks to all of you who have reviewed throughout the story. You guys have really kept me writing. As always a very special goes to my beta, Courtney, without whom this might not have been published.

Part 8

Every few seconds Spike pulled the curtain back and checked the table with the white and black cardboard 'reserved' sign. The table was still empty. No matter how often Dawn, Tara and even Willow had assured him this week that everything was fine and that Buffy was coming, he worried. Things had been strained between him and Buffy lately. She had been withdrawn. One minute it would seem like they were growing closer and the next she was running off. It didn't help that every time he spent longer than five minutes in her presence he wanted to tell her about Cassie and his dream. As soon as the urge came on, he started babbling about the first thing that came to mind. He winced thinking of some of the things that had come out of his mouth. That was usually about the time he found a reason to leave or fight something. That had been a good, well, fairly good, distraction. Slaying a newbie vampire or ugly demon was a great conversation stopper. The damned thing was the slayer usually remembered what they had been talking about. Spike's world wind thoughts ground to screeching halt. Now he was babbling in his thoughts.

He groaned and checked the table again. Still empty. Then a brunette flash burst through the crowd and quickly snatched up the sign. A few seconds later Red and Glinda pushed their way through as well. His heart sank to the bottom of his feet when he saw the Whelp and Demon Girl come through next. Surely that meant she wasn't coming and they had all come to revel in his humiliation.

Then all thought stopped. Buffy finally made her way through the crowd and over to the table. She was beautiful. She wore tight black leather pants, a red silk blouse and a short black leather jacket. He swallowed painfully. She had left her hair down in curls that he had told her on more than one occasion that he loved. She brushed her hair behind her shoulder and aimed a slight frown at Dawn. The Nibblet's face took on a look of pure innocence that she had to know was faked, but for some reason, a soft smile played on her lips and she took a seat with the others.

But that brought his gaze back to the Whelp and Demon Girl. What were they doing there? Surely this wasn't some elaborate hoax was it? Fear and self doubt began to flood the vampire. Why in the hell would Buffy's friends help him?

He jumped about a foot when he felt a hand on his arm. He gaze first flew to the table. Buffy was still there, but only Xander and Anya were with her. Then he turned his attention to the hand on his arm.

"Lil' bit, you about got you head taken off! What's with sneaking up on a bloke when he's…?"

"When he's spying on my sister?" Dawn finished teasingly.

His fierce scowl faded to a small smile when she merely stood there grinning at him. Impulsively, she reached over and hugged him.

"I know you know, since we're here and all, but I wanted to tell you, I got an A on my test! And it's all thanks to you."

Spike rolled his eyes and tried to brush off the thanks. After a few seconds, Dawn let him go and continued to stare him down.

"So, has the self doubt hit yet?"

"Self doubt? What self doubt?" He tried in vain to hide behind his trademark grin, but it soon crumbled under her direct gaze.

"It's not a trick, right?" His voice was so soft, she almost didn't catch it.

"No." She replied just as softly. "I know it's hard, Spike, but you have to trust us."

"And everything is going according to plan." A third voice joined the conversation causing him to jump again and his blood to run cold. Fixing a smirk on his lips and hopefully hiding the uncertainty in his eyes, he turned and faced Xander.

"And just what plan would that be?"

Xander glared at Spike long enough for him to start looking the Whelp over for a stake.

"I going on the record to say I don't like this. I don't think Buffy should tie herself to another blood sucker. However, Tara made a spectacular speech that I don't think should go to waste."

"Honey, get to the point." Anya joined them. "I saw the bartender getting the flowers."

"Right. So, what I'm saying is, you hurt her and I'll stake you." With that he took Anya's arm and left the Dawn and Spike alone.

Anya's words finally registered on Spike. "God, you're sure those are her favorite?"

Dawn smiled and hugged Spike again. "Sure. Now, just wow her with the song. We've got the scene all set up."

He took a deep un-needed breath as he watched the younger Summers' sister leave. Everything was going according to plan. Right. Now he just had to make sure his nerves didn't make him forget the words.

Buffy sighed and played with the napkin under her drink. As soon as they had arrived, Dawn had seen some of her friends and rushed off. Then Willow and Tara had hurried off for a tandem bathroom break. Finally, Anya had dragged Xander off when she'd seem some demon she had wanted to invite to the wedding. Buffy rolled her eyes. They were supposed to be spending quality "Scooby" time, but somehow she ended up sitting at the table alone.

Buffy looked up in surprise as a burly bartender thrust a beautiful bouquet of mini purple Calla Lilies into her arms and rush away. They were the most beautiful flowers she had seen in a long time.

She inhaled their wonderful fragrance as she searched them for a card. Finally, she found it and carefully worked it free so she didn't damage any of the petals. She opened it slowly and was surprised by the elegant scrawl:

"Buffy,

Don't be mad at Nibblet for telling me these were your favorite. We all just want you to be happy.

Spike."

Buffy's smile lit up her whole face as she breathed in their sweet fragrance again. Spike had asked her sister what her favorite flower was. He had went to the trouble to find out what her favorite flower was. None of her other boyfriends had gone to that trouble. They had all given her roses and expected her to love them. True, red roses were beautiful, but they were ordinary. Everyone got red roses. Spike had taken the time and effort to find out that she loved mini purple calla lilies. She felt tears gathering in her eyes. Her decision toward Spike had been made the night of her dream, and this just told her she'd made the right one.

Suddenly the bartender's gruff voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Welcome to open mic night! Our first performer needs no introduction, so here he is!"

Buffy flinched at the roar from the crowd at his announcement. They must really love this guy, she thought and turned her attention to the stage. He jaw dropped at what she saw.

Walking on stage was her vampire dressed in his trademark leather trench coat, black jeans and combat boots. Under the jacket was a red silk dress shirt. She quickly glanced down at her own outfit and marveled that they matched. Subconsciously, they had dressed to match. Her attention was drawn to his face as walked to the mic and cleared his throat.

"Everyone knows I sing for the same lady every time I'm up here. Well, tonight she's here to listen, so, Goldilocks, this for you."

He met her eyes in the brief moment of silence before the music started. They were filled with tears, but she was smiling so brightly he thought he might go blind.

The upbeat rock music that came from the speakers surprised Buffy. She had been certain from his introduction that it would be a romantic ballad, but then she laughed to herself. Why would she think her Spike would sing a romantic ballad to her in public? Then he began to sing and all thoughts other than the beautiful sound of his voice fled her mind.

_I know that life ain't always good to you_

_I've seen exactly what it's put you through_

_Thrown you around and turned you upside down and so you_

_You got to thinking there was no way out_

_You started sinking and it pulled you down_

_It may be tough you've got to get back up_

_Because you know that life ain't over yet_

_I'm here for you so don't forget_

_You can count on me _

'_Cause I will carry you till you carry on_

_Anytime you need someone_

_Somebody strong to lean on_

_Well, you can count on me_

_To hold you till the healing is done_

_And every time you fall apart_

_Well, you can hide here in my arms_

_And you can count on me_

_To hold you till that feeling is gone_

_I wonder why nobody's waiting on you_

_I'd like to be the one to pull you through _

_Your darkest times, I'd love to be the light that finds you_

Buffy couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. He was singing exactly what she had been feeling. She had been afraid to lean on him, to count on him and here he was telling her that it was okay for her to do those things. For the longest time she had been so scared that she couldn't feel anything other than sadness and loss, but here was Spike of all people, showing her that she could feel the entire rainbow of human emotions.

_I see a silver lining on your cloud_

_I'll pick you up whenever you fall down_

_Just take my hand and I will help you stand_

_Because you know that life ain't over yet_

_I'm here for you so don't forget _

_You can count on me_

'_Cause I will carry you till you carry on_

_Anytime you need someone_

_Somebody strong to lean on_

_Well, you can count on me_

_To hold you till the healing is done_

Spike couldn't help but see the tears his slayer was crying. It would have scared him, but Dawn, Willow and Tara had prepared him for it. They insisted that sometimes girls cried when they were happy. He had to believe that. Otherwise the huge smile on her face would have completely thrown him.

_And every time you fall apart_

_Well, you can hide here in my arms_

_And you can count on me_

_To hold you till that feeling is gone_

_So you can live today_

_Says so long to yesterday_

_Keep on counting on me_

_To carry you till you carry on, carry on_

_You know that life ain't over yet_

_I'm here for you so don't forget_

_You can count on me _

'_Cause I will carry you till you carry on_

_Anytime you need someone_

_Somebody strong to lean on_

_Well, you can count on me_

_To hold you till that healing is done_

_And every time you fall apart _

_Well, you can hide here in my arms_

_And you can count on me _

_To hold you till that feeling is done_

_Remember life ain't over yet_

_I'm here for you so don't forget_

_That you can count on me_

_To hold you till that feeling is gone_

_Remember life ain't over yet_

_I'm here for you so don't forget_

_That you can count on me_

_To hold you till that feeling is gone_

As the last notes of the song faded away, Spike made his way off stage and to Buffy's table. She slowly stood up to meet him, tears continuing to flow freely. Spike reached up and softly brushed a curl behind her ear.

"What…"

Whatever he had been about to say was cut off as she pulled him to her and crushed her lips against his. He groaned, his arms automatically wrapping around her and pulling her closer to him. Slowly, he deepened the kiss and her arms wound around his neck pulling him even closer, as though she wanted to crawl inside him. All thoughts fled him other than the beautiful woman in his arms as he explored the warm recesses of her mouth. His wayward hands slowly drifted downward to cup her buttocks. It was then a loud cheer went up and broke them apart. They stared at each, panting as they became aware of the fact that they were still standing in the middle of the Bronze.

Buffy's eyes flew to the crowd, immediately finding her sister and friends watching them. For a moment her heart stopped at what they would think. Then she noticed their reactions. Dawn, Willow and Tara stood with their arms wrapped around each other laughing, crying and cheering. Next her gaze met Xander's. She was surprised to see a wary approval in his eyes. She smiled at him, letting him know how much his acceptance meant to her. However, the gleam in Anya's eyes made her want to cringe, but she smiled anyway. Somehow she knew she was going to get roped into some unpleasant sex conversations with the former demon. Her gaze finally, surprisingly, fell on her Watcher. She braced herself for the disapproval she felt certain he would direct in their direction, but she was once again, surprised. It wasn't quite the open acceptance of Dawn, Willow and Tara or even the grudging approval from Xander, but there was a willingness to try to understand and a softness that told her as long as she was happy, he wouldn't put up too much of a fight.

Finally, her gaze came back to the vampire in her arms. She met his amazing blue eyes and her smile widened, a fact she thought was impossible. Spike had grown so much in the years she had known him. More than she had ever realized. She loved him and it was time he knew that.

"Spike," she whispered softly, "I love you."

The blonde vampire was once again grateful for the fact that his heart did not beat because it would surely have stopped at her quiet declaration. In all the ways he had imagined her telling him, the reality of it left him trembling.

"God, Buffy, I love you so much."

A throat clearing over the microphone broke them apart just as they leaned in to kiss again.

"If you two don't mind, we do have other acts tonight."

"Yeah, but nothing is going to compare to that!" Came a catcall from the back of the bar.

Buffy blushed and pulled Spike to the table before he could say something to ruin the moment.

They sat down together as the next act began.

"Spike, thank you for my flowers," Buffy whispered before drawing his lips to hers once more.

AN2: Okay folks, that's mostly it. I do have an idea for a little epilogue, but let me know if it should end here or not.


End file.
